first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
you never un-have a 4some
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
