D3 body, D1 cock
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize