I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
