Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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