i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
