Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
