Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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