i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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