Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
