i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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