so explain again why im purple
no
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
