we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
