We're like a lot better than the average bears
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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