Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
