Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize