If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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