im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
