i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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