Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
