What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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