i just had sex bonerless
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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