where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
