He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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