I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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