so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
