He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize