I'm gonna have a badass scar
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
