If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize