$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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