i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
