your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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