Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
