He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
