My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
