I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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