you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
