Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize