Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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