in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
