eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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