And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
