So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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