AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My ass is underappreciated
Let's get the cat blown out
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
