spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
