Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
