I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
