Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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