Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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