Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize