Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
