I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
