He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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