whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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