This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
