I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
