I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
