I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
