Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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