You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sorry my hands just texted you
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
