all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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