you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
