Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
