also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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