He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
