Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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