He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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